Don't Break the Deal!!
10 Tips on Managing and Committing to Your Deal-Breakers:
Ladies {and Gentlemen}:
Ever feel like you do not have officially made deal-breakers because they are hard to stick to? Do you have deal-breakers but do not know how to break the deal? Fear not! I have 10 tips that may help you establish/create your deal breakers and tips to sticking to them.
1. What is your complete no go?? Make a list of things you cannot stand or tolerate when it comes to your potential mate whether that is in appearance or materialistic things. Crooked teeth, bad B.O., have a child, no job, or no car... Simply make a list of these things.
2. In this list you created, prepare your top 3 worst of all deal-breakers with questions. For example, if your top three are baby daddy, no job, or no car your questions could be "Do you own a car?", "Are you currently employed", and "do you have any children?" Simple right? Also straight forward and communicative.
3. When that person says "yes" to one of two of your top worst of all deal-breakers, it's up to you to decide whether or not their circumstances barely make them eligible or if their pros outweigh their cons to the point you can overlook it. However...
4. Be very careful letting things slide. This allows you to lower your guard or maybe even your standards depending on the reason you are letting it slide. For example, if your top deal-breaker is to not be with someone with crooked teeth (not judging) but you find that person to be very attractive with their mouth closed, cool. But if your deal-breaker is to stay away from baby daddies but he buys you nice things... not a good reason to lower your guard.
5. When a person says "yes" to ALL of your top worst of all deal-breakers, WALK AWAY!!! Try very hard to not to look back... might even one to run away from that person if it's hard. If you feel as though you can be straight forward with that person by letting them know they do not qualify to date you and not be convinced to stay with them, do that but Trust me, it will be worth it in the end.
6. Practice self-discipline. You are not desperate for a partner or relationship to talk to everyone who fails your deal-breakers test. Even if a person passes that test, do not change or lower your standards for the other aspects of them that is not a deal-breaker. Example: if you know after 11pm is cuddling, etc. hour and you want to refrain from all of that, leave or cut off the conversation with this person around that time. You are sticking to your standards and showing that you mean business.
7. Have a buddy or a best friend to keep you on track. Having someone remind you of your standards and goals you set are nice and keep you on track. Sometimes those friends can snap you back into reality and make you remember your goals that you shared with them. This is highly recommended.
8. Did I already say RUN? Don't look back! Not even at a text message or Insta pic!
9. Don't second guess yourself or allow that person to convince you otherwise. Your mind is made up and a deal-breaker is called that for a reason. If it is meant to be, God will align things and make it happen. Now all the work isn't on God; you have to do some too but waiting to see if everything lines up is essential.
And lastly, 10. No matter what stage of deal-breaking you are in, make sure that they line up with your standards and goals... your family's too. Can't take them to meet your parents or family if they would not pass THEIR deal-breaker for you.
Ladies {and Gentlemen}:
Ever feel like you do not have officially made deal-breakers because they are hard to stick to? Do you have deal-breakers but do not know how to break the deal? Fear not! I have 10 tips that may help you establish/create your deal breakers and tips to sticking to them.
1. What is your complete no go?? Make a list of things you cannot stand or tolerate when it comes to your potential mate whether that is in appearance or materialistic things. Crooked teeth, bad B.O., have a child, no job, or no car... Simply make a list of these things.
2. In this list you created, prepare your top 3 worst of all deal-breakers with questions. For example, if your top three are baby daddy, no job, or no car your questions could be "Do you own a car?", "Are you currently employed", and "do you have any children?" Simple right? Also straight forward and communicative.
3. When that person says "yes" to one of two of your top worst of all deal-breakers, it's up to you to decide whether or not their circumstances barely make them eligible or if their pros outweigh their cons to the point you can overlook it. However...
4. Be very careful letting things slide. This allows you to lower your guard or maybe even your standards depending on the reason you are letting it slide. For example, if your top deal-breaker is to not be with someone with crooked teeth (not judging) but you find that person to be very attractive with their mouth closed, cool. But if your deal-breaker is to stay away from baby daddies but he buys you nice things... not a good reason to lower your guard.
5. When a person says "yes" to ALL of your top worst of all deal-breakers, WALK AWAY!!! Try very hard to not to look back... might even one to run away from that person if it's hard. If you feel as though you can be straight forward with that person by letting them know they do not qualify to date you and not be convinced to stay with them, do that but Trust me, it will be worth it in the end.
6. Practice self-discipline. You are not desperate for a partner or relationship to talk to everyone who fails your deal-breakers test. Even if a person passes that test, do not change or lower your standards for the other aspects of them that is not a deal-breaker. Example: if you know after 11pm is cuddling, etc. hour and you want to refrain from all of that, leave or cut off the conversation with this person around that time. You are sticking to your standards and showing that you mean business.
7. Have a buddy or a best friend to keep you on track. Having someone remind you of your standards and goals you set are nice and keep you on track. Sometimes those friends can snap you back into reality and make you remember your goals that you shared with them. This is highly recommended.
8. Did I already say RUN? Don't look back! Not even at a text message or Insta pic!
9. Don't second guess yourself or allow that person to convince you otherwise. Your mind is made up and a deal-breaker is called that for a reason. If it is meant to be, God will align things and make it happen. Now all the work isn't on God; you have to do some too but waiting to see if everything lines up is essential.
And lastly, 10. No matter what stage of deal-breaking you are in, make sure that they line up with your standards and goals... your family's too. Can't take them to meet your parents or family if they would not pass THEIR deal-breaker for you.
Grreat blog I enjoyed reading
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Laura! This blog post was created in 2015 and I honestly forgot it was still up and active. I really appreciate your comment and even this gentle reminder to myself not to break the deal! Take care!
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