Single for LYfe: Giving Yourself Away

Part 2: When You Are Wifey Material...

For the ladies...
I wanted to share a little lesson I starting to learn recently. When you are single, you have options correct? No, scratch that; you have choices to make! You can allow someone to pursue you, get into pursuit, or pursue someone first. In other words, you can allow someone to talk to you, get to know you, etc. You can prepare and better yourself for a relationship, or you seek a guy's attention, affection, interest, etc. I am sure there are more options and choices than just those three but for now, I'm going to point those out (mostly because they are simple and less complex).

When you are single, it's best to focus on yourself. However, you may or may not attract potential candidates for the position you are preparing yourself for. This is not a bad thing. You can still work on yourself and entertain guest right? Depends on how and why you do it.

One may choose to entertain company because they are lonely, don't want a real relationship at the moment, or feel the need for a male companion. None of these things are necessarily wrong but sometimes it can be a distraction from your goals, expectations, and standards. In a way, you may be lower your standards for Mr. Right Now and not even realize how it's changing or altering your standards and value for Mr. Right. In this case, when I say value, I mean worth. There's a lot of women out there who are okay with being single and talking here and there but some may also have sexual relations with these guys. Want to know the weird thing?? The ones giving themselves away are in the same boat as those who are NOT doing those things. Want to know how?

You are giving a piece of yourself away... just that easily. These guys you know are just fillers or replacements for feelings. And shockingly, THEY KNOW IT! Guys are very observant and good at reading women. In a way, it's their superpower; only because this is a skill we typically lack. Guys know what they can say or do to have you figured out or know what is a "no" and what is a "go". They know if they got you from the beginning. The rest is just them testing the waters and seeing how far they can get without you realizing that you deserve more and is worth more than how you allowed them to treat you.

Set higher standards and stick with them. Talking and dating around is not a crime but you are giving a piece of yourself, your personal, your fantasies and dreams to someone who may or may not deserve it in the long run. How will you know? The one? He'll be the typical dream guy; God's heaven sent/match. He'll be everything you wanted in more... including the deal breakers. You would not have to settle for less.

Even if you are not having sexual relations with every guy you come across, the ones you're talking to or fooling around with may make it seem like you have been a lot of guys because each give you a different experience.  Like I said, there is nothing wrong with that but it is best to work on yourself BY yourself. No distractions. When you are wifey material, you have to hold onto those wifey qualities and not let everyone get a taste or sneak peek into the whole packet because you may get tired or feel experienced by the time your Boaz or match appears in your life. Hold out, steadfast, and pray for yourself and your future. Don't get too caught up or feel like you are missing something. Still enjoy the single life...

And remember to Love Yourself