How Men Can Empower Women on a Daily Basis

Happy Women's {History} Month!

My latest blog postings have mostly been centered around travel and race issues going on in recent American news but if you know me, you know that race issues aren't my only passions. Women's issues are my passions as well but I will say I started questioning it and got discouraged after attending an event last year in Columbia, SC that was all about "empowering women."

So many questions came in my mind after I had a moment of rejection, embarrassment, and other emotions at this "Empowerment" Conference. Let's just say I left the event not feeling very empowered by anybody besides my mother who was there and right by my side! I had a battle within myself and had to evaluate what does it mean to be a feminist and empower women. Is it all in one? Is it not inclusive of one another? Am I just passionate about feminism or empowering? etc. etc. I am assured that I'm easily misunderstood and can say things in a certain way to make someone assume I have negative intentions but this was definitely another learning experience under my belt. I am not sure I am able to put it in words but I will say this: I had a moment of discouragement and doubt after the event and lost hope in what true empowerment of women was BUT I know that God did not give me this passion for women's rights and social justice for no reason! I know this because he affirms it every time I speak or do something for civil and women's rights. I REFUSE to let any MAN or any woMAN stop me or deter me from my calling.

With that said, here's my post and in a way, my comeback on how men can empower women on a daily basis... This has been a long time coming!

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5 Short & Simple Ways Men Can Empower Women

1. Leave random notes of empowerment.

This may seem silly and minuscule but a little always goes a long way! It is important to find innovative ways of telling someone you appreciate them for who they are. Women have various stressors and worries and mostly feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Notes like "Have you looked in the mirror and seen a super Woman?", "You are a Wonder, Woman!", "You're one of the strongest women I know", etc. are creative messages of reminding her who she is and embracing her femininity. Do not worry or fear reject with these notes! You are simply empowering her as a woman and eventually making her day!

2. Send text reminding them that they are valued, loved, and appreciated.

This is very similar to number 1 but this is personal to your woman friends who have helped you or influenced you in your life some kind of way. Some people grew up without a father to be the one reminding them how much of a strong and admirable woman that she is. Yeah, her mom could say it, her friends could, but it's nice to hear that from a male figure or friend every once in awhile. Her reaction will be priceless... in a daring, awkward way.

3. Refrain from speaking negatively about women to other women.

Especially on social media. Do not degrade, offend, bully, or come at a woman regarding her femininity! Whether that's sharing a meme of a woman with crazy looking hair, undone feet, messed up nails, any of that! That is not fair! Women have to suffer everyday to have great hair, nails, and be pampered. Beauty is literally pain if you want to live up to societal expectations which are now seen as "norms" on how she should dress, look, and act. Oh! This also includes sharing photos and videos of highly sexually objectified women. Those women should be proud of their bodies, yes, but not wearing clothes or covering up shouldn't be what makes a woman beautiful or subjected to positive speech due to their artificial authenticity (mouth full and an oxymoron). So what if the average woman takes a break and decides to live outside of that "norm"? She should not be punished for that. And what does that convey to your woman friends who see you saying something negative or sexually objectifying about another female? Whether she agrees with you or not, have those conversations exploring the thoughts and reasoning of a woman. You will learn many things!

4. Stand up for women in your daily conversations and interactions... especially to your male colleagues.

When guys get around other guys, they are rumored to be dogs! Bashing women, talk about your disliking to the things they say and do, etc. etc. I get it! Women do the exact same things honestly (but what about your empowerment? I'll get to that in a sec). But when you are out in public with your friends and they cat call a woman over to them or something else derogatory, say something and inform your friend that he was inappropriate and ESPECIALLY if that friend was being disrespectful! It doesn't have to be corrected in front of the woman (which might not actually be a bad thing to do so she knows that there are some guys out there that still look out for and stand up for women) but just do it! Talk to that friend and let them know why they were disrespectful. A woman should be talked to with respect and dignity! This is absolutely empowering to women, maybe indirectly, but it makes all the difference.

5. Express your emotions and feelings to them.

We are all human! We know you have emotions and feelings but society tells you that in order to be a man, you must ignore them or pretend you don't have feelings. A woman appreciates a good man who expresses his emotions and feelings {in creative ways}. Whether that's through a song, painting, or whatever, find a positive way to let go of your feelings and say what you want to say. We want you to know that we care as well as to feel like you all care in return. This prevents problems and arguments later on down the road. It definitely saves the thoughts of "what if" and "what could have been." Expressing your feelings alone is not only empowering to women but to yourself! Bottling in your emotions and not releasing them is very unhealthy.

There it is, 5 simple ways that men can empower women on a daily basis! It's not that hard but society has us conditioned to think that it is much more complicated then it is. We must be supportive and appreciative of one another. It's the small things that add up and build. The "can't live with them, can't live without them" ideology still holds true on both sides of gender. Although empowered women can empower other women, it takes a man living in this patriarchy society to step up and get involved in this cycle of empowerment. Don't let society tell you differently!