I Run (for Ahmaud Arbery)

I am a woman in her mid 20's. I have a profound love for the arts. Painting, dancing, live music, movies, you name it! I love life and the Creator of Life. I spend most of my mornings praying, studying the Bible, listening to Spontaneous worship music, cooking breakfast,  and teasing my dog that he can't eat "people food as I can." My afternoons are spent completing certifications online to improve my skills that I can apply to my business in organizational development and event coordination. In the evenings, I have meetings, cook dinner, and my love-hate relationship for exercise, especially running. 

I have my family, friends, church family, roommates, and a dog who look forward to me arriving home and being safe... Yet, I am faced with a dilemma. Though these people care about me and my well-being, any of them nor I can change my skin color.  The fact that my skin is black in a society that disapproves of the darker skin race, along with continuous examples of racially motivated, heinous acts that blatantly shows me that I am not safe here. I am not safe in the simplistic of human liberties. I, because of my skin color, have to be cognizant of what I wear when I go out for a jog. Questions now flood my mind: Is this revealing too much as a woman? Is this too dark, threatening, or identifying enough as an African American? Where is it safe to run? Should I run in a park? Or how about within my apartment complex where just a few months ago I was harassed by a neighbor for being black and walking my dog? Should I run on a main road where I could be mistaken as a suspect? 

Maybe if they knew that I am a lover of arts, family-oriented, and dedicated. I might be safe? I graduated from Winthrop. Maybe I should wear my alumna gear? I also have a Master's degree.  Would it be enough for me to intellectually articulate to a police officer that I am just on an evening run? Question after question; with my accolades, academic achievements, clothing, it all doesn't matter.  It all doesn’t hold value in the eyes of a racist, prejudice, discriminative, xenophobic country. Those in Power already have their mind made up about me. Their only excuse will be that the color of my skin is a threat, which is something I can not control, yet it will be a justifiable reason to end a life. I can't run.

They'll say that "I am a single black female in her mid 20's." Not that I am a child of God, daughter, sister, future wife, the future mother of children who will have African-American in their DNA. They have no regard for me, now, or my children I hope to have in the future. What will become of them? Will they live in a post-racist society or will they have to continue to hide away from this deadly epidemic? Children now may ask, "Is it safe to go outside yet?" Would you have an answer?? They may allow all the other children to go outside. Racism and white supremacy barricade my fellow African-Americans from seeking justice after many of our own are murdered for existing, though we are unarmed. Our lives, liberty, and pursuit of happiness are still very much locked away in quarantine. A quarantine not mandated by ourselves but by this world and society and enforced by your silence. You can't run.

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