Single for LYfe: Damaged GOODS

This is Part 5 of the Single for LYfe {Love Yourself} blog series on Empowering For the Future! Just in time for Valentine's Day!

Why everyone walkin' around here hurt?!?!

Not physically hurt but emotionally hurt... from relationships. This could be any type of relationships from their mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, co-worker, boss, ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. In this day in age, people will take their feelings to social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, probably Tumblr. Did I mention Twitter and Facebook already? STOP! Stop walking around here hurt!

Although people are quick to hop on social media and vent, many walk around everyday holding the weight of their feelings on their chest... or should I say face. Whether it's very evident, sarcastic like Judd Nelson from the Breakfast Club, or nonexistent/nonchalant like Kristen Stewart, it comes in different forms of expression. I believe every generation expresses it differently. I read this article on Huffington Post that talked about why we, millennials, do not want or fully invest in relationships. I definitely agreed with the overall message in the article that we are the generation who do not want to commit because I found that we {myself included into MY generation} do not value them, appreciate them, are patient for them, nor want to put in the time and effort to seek and keep them. We want to laugh like Martin & Gina, slow dance like Mike & Alicia, to be a power couple like Beyonce & Jay Z, and it's something about that Will & Jada love, and believe we can create those fairy tale love stories we see from Walt & Disney ROFLMBO (I literally crack myself up! How in the world do I come up with this??) Anyway, we want everything in relationships that the media and movies show us but not the commitment or work it takes behind the scenes or to get there in reality; instead, we end up like Oprah and Stedman without the long years. So is it a generation thing? In this post, I analyze this question and the issues we have as millennials in relationships.

We end up guarding certain parts of our emotions and not caging our feelings. Think of it like this: They say you cannot have your cake and eat it too but most people have the cake, stare at the cake, watch other people with their cake, we salivate over it, and slowly give into temptation by picking parts of the frosting to eat then trying a little piece here and then there. Next thing you know, you have eaten the whole cake by yourself and suffer from a very painful stomach and tooth ache. You knew that you were saving that cake for a special occasion! So then you get mad and blame the people who indulged your cake appetite! No one but you ate the cake and you cannot blame anyone else for your failed relationships and commitments you didn't really want to take.

Besides the cake analogy, you can find it true with this new generation of lovers. Now I can't speak for a whole generation and these are based strictly off of observation and conversations with other people. But when we see older people together in long term relationships and are shocked that they last so long. Back in the day, divorce was not an option and you did not get married because they loved the sex! They realized marriage was a serious commitment; it took courting and getting to know each other without technology in order to do it! There wasn't any Facesnaps and Snapbooking! *words of Elijah Kelly* I am not 100% sure on what influenced older generations into getting married but from what I observe in our generation, we fall into societal pressures and follow the steps of our colleagues who are married and parents at young ages. In other words, social media has caused us to compete with one another for relationships. We. Are. Young! You may feel damaged but you are still GOOD! It's not the end of the world because you are in your 20's and have not found love.

We use our "inability" to love in our past relationships as an excuse to not commit in the next one. We claim our baggage and weigh it heavy on ourselves that when someone else comes along and want to help you relieve it, you fight back and complain that it's too much to share or better yet, that they cannot handle the share. #DontWasteHerTime2016 and #DontWasteHisTime2016 were mottos and hashtags that graced everyone's Instagram feed at the beginning of the 2016 year. But have we wasted each other's time or not fully utilized and cherish the time that was given?

I don't know but I am tired of people using their hurt as an excuse. Not everyone is out here doing that. There are a few who seek God and choose to focus on themselves and their career before seeking relationships. Seeking a relationship with God should be number one in everything. When you are single, man or woman, you are supposed to submitted and committed to God. That's how you establish consistency and know how to love because God is love! Secondly, He prepares someone for you and you for that other person as well. It is important that a man is submitted under God to be able to lead his family as the head. In your quality time with God, he polishes you, cherishes you and loves you the way you're supposed to be loved and everything else is LITERALLY added unto you.

"Don't knock it 'til you try it" {is my quote of the week!} But please stop walking around here hurt...

Happy Valentine's Week!