Growing Up Black & Female
As I look around and observe the many different types of women I realize that race does have an effect on how we are raised. I can only speak as a black female and for myself because I know everyone is raised differently. And this is not to generalize that black females all raise the same but we do have similar traits and characteristics that deal with how we are raised by her mothers who are also black and female. Now please understand that I do know that this is a controversial subject and know that some people will not understand and that some people may not agree but once again this is my blog of my observations. Even my experience.
Black women are raised differently than any type of women especially white women. We are told that we have to be independent and hold on and not to count on any man. {Remember this is not to say that white women are raised to think that} but black women especially our race to be strong and to not rely on anybody else but themselves. That's why I'm so miss independent and choose not to rely on other people to get things done when I know I can do them myself. Growing up my mom told me to have my own job and money and also to save money aside in a separate bank account than that of my husband. This is just in case so that something happens, I can cover myself and I not rely on having money always go through my husband instead of in my access. I also know that my mom taught me to hold my head up high and work harder than those around me. I must be sure of myself and take my job/tasks seriously even when no one does.
As a black female it may be harder to get jobs than everyone else and know that I am the most oppressed person in society (one strike for being Black, one strike for being woman) and the most judged. Factual, Black women are the most educated and the most likely wants to graduate from college with a degree; however we are discriminated in the workforce and have many stereotypes and stigmas against us such as baby mamas, hoes, prostitutes etc. I look at society and I see that if I cannot sing dance or shake my behind that there is no point in me using my success in society Unless I am trying to be like Oprah or gossip like Wendy Williams. I have to make myself likable and expected to fall into black stereotypes of how black women on the should think, look, dress, and act.
Growing up I was called things like Oreo and picked on for not having straight hair. I was told "you dress and talk white" instead of a black person. I was told things like "you're pretty for a black girl" Or "teach me how to twerk". I was told that wearing South Pole and Apple bottom jeans were ghetto, and asked how do I do my hair or how did my hair get long so fast. When I got closer and closer to college I was told things like "black people get the most scholarships" and "you guys always have the finer things in life". I guess they're talking about Michael Kors bags and Cadillac cars that people drive in the ghetto or the projects. Every time I was in a public place or even at school, it was assumed that came from a lower place than them. It was a shock that I was smart or even higher classes. A friend even called me racist because I told her the importance of code switching.
These things that were said not only by friends and peers but by people I pass by or meet in the street or at work. I was always given the advice with the connotation that I will never be good enough or that I would just be the exception. It was almost as if I was asking for a handout or for pity. My mother raised me otherwise. I was always have my head up and be smarter than the person next to me do not take any bs from anybody; I was not to be pushed over.
What I observed from white women's traits and habits growing up focus on other things instead of independence and stability. However I will not speak on that because I am not a white woman. I just know that Black women are overlooked and still hold the title of being strong willed and supportive, independent individuals. That's the secret of growing up black and female. ©
Black women are raised differently than any type of women especially white women. We are told that we have to be independent and hold on and not to count on any man. {Remember this is not to say that white women are raised to think that} but black women especially our race to be strong and to not rely on anybody else but themselves. That's why I'm so miss independent and choose not to rely on other people to get things done when I know I can do them myself. Growing up my mom told me to have my own job and money and also to save money aside in a separate bank account than that of my husband. This is just in case so that something happens, I can cover myself and I not rely on having money always go through my husband instead of in my access. I also know that my mom taught me to hold my head up high and work harder than those around me. I must be sure of myself and take my job/tasks seriously even when no one does.
As a black female it may be harder to get jobs than everyone else and know that I am the most oppressed person in society (one strike for being Black, one strike for being woman) and the most judged. Factual, Black women are the most educated and the most likely wants to graduate from college with a degree; however we are discriminated in the workforce and have many stereotypes and stigmas against us such as baby mamas, hoes, prostitutes etc. I look at society and I see that if I cannot sing dance or shake my behind that there is no point in me using my success in society Unless I am trying to be like Oprah or gossip like Wendy Williams. I have to make myself likable and expected to fall into black stereotypes of how black women on the should think, look, dress, and act.
Growing up I was called things like Oreo and picked on for not having straight hair. I was told "you dress and talk white" instead of a black person. I was told things like "you're pretty for a black girl" Or "teach me how to twerk". I was told that wearing South Pole and Apple bottom jeans were ghetto, and asked how do I do my hair or how did my hair get long so fast. When I got closer and closer to college I was told things like "black people get the most scholarships" and "you guys always have the finer things in life". I guess they're talking about Michael Kors bags and Cadillac cars that people drive in the ghetto or the projects. Every time I was in a public place or even at school, it was assumed that came from a lower place than them. It was a shock that I was smart or even higher classes. A friend even called me racist because I told her the importance of code switching.
These things that were said not only by friends and peers but by people I pass by or meet in the street or at work. I was always given the advice with the connotation that I will never be good enough or that I would just be the exception. It was almost as if I was asking for a handout or for pity. My mother raised me otherwise. I was always have my head up and be smarter than the person next to me do not take any bs from anybody; I was not to be pushed over.
What I observed from white women's traits and habits growing up focus on other things instead of independence and stability. However I will not speak on that because I am not a white woman. I just know that Black women are overlooked and still hold the title of being strong willed and supportive, independent individuals. That's the secret of growing up black and female. ©
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